Daily

583.

I had planned on this post being a review of the new Whitechapel album, “The Valley,” but seeing as how it took Metal Blade like… three weeks to ship my order after my payment went through and was confirmed, and for some reason, Canada Post attempted to deliver it to a community four hours north of me, that post is going to have to be put on hold. Next time I’m just going to buy from Amazon. At least Canada Post was pretty good with re-routing the delivery and they didn’t give me too much shit. Canada Post has a tendency to be difficult, especially when they’re covering their own butts. I would do it off just listening to the album on Spotify, but I want the physical thing in my hands first. Call me old fashioned, but I have a method. LOL.

Anyhow. Dealing with all of this health nonsense is super draining. I had my ECG done, and my doctor said that the wave abnormalities it showed were only seen in patients who have suffered and survived massive heart attacks. She doesn’t think I actually had one, because my blood work doesn’t reflect that, but there isn’t really any other explanation as to why those abnormalities are there. She referred me to see an internist, who was lovely. He didn’t think I had a heart attack either, but he wanted me to document my blood pressure for a few weeks and go for another ECG. That ECG came back with the same abnormality, so he thinks that it’s just my normal. His advice was essentially to keep taking my blood pressure medication, keep checking my blood pressure regularly and keep trying to lose weight. He also thinks it’s related to sleep apnea, so I had to do an overnight oximetry test, which came back suggestive for “sleep disordered breathing.” I was going to proceed to doing the CPAP trial, but they wanted $200 up front, and then if the trial was successful, they wanted another $1700 for the machine and I was like “Yeah… nope.” I don’t have extended health at the moment, Pharmacare doesn’t cover that and I just don’t have that amount of money kicking around. It’s bad enough I have to fork over $600 for my new glasses, which is just… bullshit, if you ask me. I had to take a bunch of shifts at the hospital to cover it, which just ground my gears because I get so tired after working at the hospital. I don’t know if it’s the air, or it’s the fact that I sit there for 11 hours with very minimal amount of work to do and it feels like my will to live is leaving my body. Who knows.

Looking into obtaining some extended health, though. Hate dealing with that, let me tell you. How am I supposed to remember when I was first diagnosed with depression? It was in 2005 sometime, that’s all I know. Bunch of bullshit questions. At least the eating healthy is going well (for the most part).

I’m in dire need of a weekend away. I’m planning a trip to possibly either Kamloops or Quesnel sometime in June. As long as we’re not on fire, I think it’ll be great. Though fire season seems to have started early this year, I am not going to let it deter me. Or the possibility of running into Emilie’s father if I decide to go to Kamloops (just have to be mindful). A nice weekend away would be just… so ideal. I didn’t get to take any holiday while my boss was in the Dominican, and I’ve been working at the hospital for the last few long weekends. Either that or I’ve been sick. Thankfully, David will be going with me. It’d be nice to spend some “us” time, and at least he is able to appreciate my love of books. I have no fear of him following me around Chapters and asking asshole questions, like: Do you really need that many books? Are you seriously going to read all of those? Why do you need so many? Haven’t you read that book already? Why don’t you just watch the movie? Et cetera, et cetera. The last trip I made to Chapters was with my ex-boyfriend Kyle, and he was relentless with that bullshit. I promised the next person who did that to me would be lit on fire and left in a dumpster out back, because I really just have no patience for that type of bullshit.

Anyway. Things have been crazy. Hopefully they’ll be swinging up into the positive spectrum for me for the summer. I hate the heat, but at least make my time pleasant, Universe.

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