Daily,  Music

999.

How is everyone doing? Hopefully you are all handling yourselves well, washing/sanitizing your hands, not touching your faces, and staying a reasonable distance away from others. I know I am. At this point, I’m pretty sure my blood type has been altered to be just various kinds of Lysol and MicroBan, LOL.

A lot of people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing, though. We’ve been in Phase 3 for… a little over a month now, and cases are now starting to go up again. I just shake my head. It’s really exhausting attempting to reason with people, arguing with people, trying to convince them that corona is real and it’s still ongoing. People can’t seem to listen to reason, and I just can’t help but feel that as a collective, society has just decided that they’re over it and are trying to go back to living their lives as before. But then at the same time, people are arguing and saying that it isn’t fair that the kids have to go back to full time education in the fall. I just say, which is it? Either the virus is a big enough deal that the children aren’t safe, or it’s not really and you can go to the lake for the weekend with 8 000 other people to drink and be stupid like you did before. Can’t have it both ways, Karen.

I don’t get it. The whole entire ordeal is exhausting. I’ve only just now started leaving my apartment for non-employment related or non-essential trips. My family and I went to Starbucks for the first time in… months on Saturday, and just sat and enjoyed coffee, but we had our masks with us and only took them off when we were in our booth. Even though our community risk is low, and has been low, I don’t want to take too many chances because I am already exposed at work.

I would be lying if I said my mental health hasn’t been a colossal dumpster fire these last couple months. I had all of these plans to do things, but with the stress of work and the virus situation, the stress with finances and not qualifying for any of the Canadian government assistance, dealing with an equally (sometimes much more so) depressed partner, and then the kids… I haven’t managed to complete any of my goals. I am super behind in my witchcraft studies, my apartment is a cluttered mess, and I don’t do much other than lay in bed and attempt to read. My life seems to be a raging river at the moment, and even though there are some calm spots here and there, most of the time I feel like I can’t get my head above the water for more than a few seconds at a time. I am hoping to start getting back into my journaling and my meditation practice, as that was helping me a good deal. The hardest part is actually doing it, because I look around and I just am… in despair, and overtired without a second wind coming on.

The kids are doing well, though. Emilie is excited to go back to school, and she has made a good friend in our building, which I am excited about for her. I feel bad for my little butterfly sometimes, because she is such an extroverted star, and she got saddle with an introverted black hole of a mother. I am going to be making a better, more concentrated effort to take part in social things with her once her school starts back up, but with the pandemic going on right now, I am not sure how that is work at this point. I am still waiting on confirmation from Emilie’s school as to what their plan is. The mandate from the education minister didn’t say too much other than the students were going back full time in September.

I don’t really have much to say. Just going through the gigs, I guess. Tonight I’m going to try and do some writing (I feel a poem or two maybe), and if the heat calms down a bit, I might do some meditation on the balcony. Put on some Icon & The Black Roses and tidy up. I don’t know. Anyway. Until next time, enjoy some Shreddy Krueger:

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