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Merry Newtonmas everyone! 🙂

Normally, I would post everything that I received as presents, but since I am pulling a 12.5 hour shift today, that will have to wait until tomorrow. LOL. Hooray for triple time though, right? LOL. To be honest, I would rather be in bed, but scheduling caught me at a weak moment. Right now I’m covering patient registration, and I am so bored, I think my head might roll off. To prevent that from happening, I figured I would make a small post and let everyone know what I’ve been up to.

I was afraid we were going to have a brown Newtonmas this year, as we almost did last year and then the crazy summer that we had with the fires and all, but last week, it was like BAM. This is what I woke up to:

Needless to say, I was colossally overjoyed. I love snow. The temperature has been fluctuating between -14°C and -27°C, so it’s decently cold and even colder with the wind chill, so it’s been delightful. Almost feels like winter from when I was a child, but back then it used to dip down to almost -40°C, which I guess is a thing of the past now (unless I move to the Yukon Territory – which I plan to – but that plan has been put on hold until I can find somewhere that I can take classes to become familiar the Inuksuk languages). It’s made sleep a lot nicer. I only get about an average of 6 hours of sleep a night, which is usually enough but it’s not sleep of the best quality. With the temperature being what it is, I fall asleep fast and I sleep really deep, which has been a boost for my productivity and I feel great instead of groggy. I wish it was winter all the time.

Something that has ground my gears a bit… one of my goals for the new year is to stand up to people that Mother shame me. I’m not talking about those ridiculous groups on Facebook that bully women about breast feeding, because I stopped with those groups after Emilie became a toddler, but I’m talking about people that make snide comments as if I’m not standing right there. Like the other night… a bunch of us girls were sitting around the nursing station during a quiet period, talking about who got roped into working Christmas. I said that I had, as well as a couple of the nurses who were sitting there. One of them, who I will call DB, looked at me pointedly and said “I’m not working Christmas, because I am dedicated to my kids.”

So… normally I would let that kind of comment slide. I’m not into in-fighting with co-workers. I’m not into office drama or any of that nonsense because I come to do my job and get my pay check and go home. I have never felt “part of the team,” despite my efforts, so I don’t try to engage that much anymore. Most of the nurses I work with though, I am on friendly terms with. DB though… I have never liked. She has a very poor attitude, tries to talk over others, brags about her family/husband/material things, and is an overall know-it-all. Is she a good nurse? I have no idea. If she spent the amount of time taking care of patients as she does running her mouth, she could be great. She’s very condescending, and always makes sure to talk to me like I am the most moronic individual on the planet. My solution is usually just to avoid her as much as possible, and if she tries to start running her mouth at me, I ignore her and go on with my work. It has worked for me thus far.

It’s kind of hard for me, though, because even though that I feel that the comment was directed at me, we were all talking in a group and I can’t say with 100% certainty that it was directed at me. It still pissed me off, and I wish I had called her on it. But with how upset it made me, I’m kind of glad that I didn’t because I might have lost my temper at her and that professional boundary cannot be crossed no matter what. But for the new year… I want to learn how to call these kind of comments out in a respectful manner that won’t get me hauled into my boss’s office and create some kind of ire between myself and the nurses that I am on good terms with.

Something to think about anyway.

I hope everyone has a good Christmas… I will probably blog again in a couple of days to show off my presents and what not. 🙂

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One of my goals for the coming year is to take better care of myself. I haven’t been doing such a bang-up job these last few years, and it is catching up to me in a big way lately. You think I would have learned my lesson, with now having to go through all of this painful dental work and the condition of my skin being absolute shit. But nope… I’m exhausted. I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, it seems and I am wracking my brain on how I am going to remedy the situation without jeopardizing future opportunities.

One of the things that I have been debating with myself about is whether or not to give up my position at the hospital. Giving that up would give me more time at home with Emilie, it would remove a giant chunk of my stress, it would allow me to give my sole focus to the clinic and things going on with the interior division, not to mention I would sleep better. On the cons side, I would be giving up my pension and my extended health, I would no longer be able to afford Emilie’s daycare, and in the event that the practice folded or the doctor decided to leave town… it would limit my opportunities going forward.

So it’s a gamble. One that I need to really give some thought to.

It would be really nice to have some time off. I work too much, and it really is wearing on me.

I had a panic attack on Friday, and I have a feeling that it won’t be my last. My doctor gave me some Ativan to settle my nerves, but I don’t like to take it. Anything with the potential to be addictive I don’t really care for. I don’t enjoy the idea of being a slave to a substance and not in control of my faculties.

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