• Daily

    583.

    I had planned on this post being a review of the new Whitechapel album, “The Valley,” but seeing as how it took Metal Blade like… three weeks to ship my order after my payment went through and was confirmed, and for some reason, Canada Post attempted to deliver it to a community four hours north of me, that post is going to have to be put on hold. Next time I’m just going to buy from Amazon. At least Canada Post was pretty good with re-routing the delivery and they didn’t give me too much shit. Canada Post has a tendency to be difficult, especially when they’re covering their own butts. I would do it off just listening to the album on Spotify, but I want the physical thing in my hands first. Call me old fashioned, but I have a method. LOL.

    Anyhow. Dealing with all of this health nonsense is super draining. I had my ECG done, and my doctor said that the wave abnormalities it showed were only seen in patients who have suffered and survived massive heart attacks. She doesn’t think I actually had one, because my blood work doesn’t reflect that, but there isn’t really any other explanation as to why those abnormalities are there. She referred me to see an internist, who was lovely. He didn’t think I had a heart attack either, but he wanted me to document my blood pressure for a few weeks and go for another ECG. That ECG came back with the same abnormality, so he thinks that it’s just my normal. His advice was essentially to keep taking my blood pressure medication, keep checking my blood pressure regularly and keep trying to lose weight. He also thinks it’s related to sleep apnea, so I had to do an overnight oximetry test, which came back suggestive for “sleep disordered breathing.” I was going to proceed to doing the CPAP trial, but they wanted $200 up front, and then if the trial was successful, they wanted another $1700 for the machine and I was like “Yeah… nope.” I don’t have extended health at the moment, Pharmacare doesn’t cover that and I just don’t have that amount of money kicking around. It’s bad enough I have to fork over $600 for my new glasses, which is just… bullshit, if you ask me. I had to take a bunch of shifts at the hospital to cover it, which just ground my gears because I get so tired after working at the hospital. I don’t know if it’s the air, or it’s the fact that I sit there for 11 hours with very minimal amount of work to do and it feels like my will to live is leaving my body. Who knows.

    Looking into obtaining some extended health, though. Hate dealing with that, let me tell you. How am I supposed to remember when I was first diagnosed with depression? It was in 2005 sometime, that’s all I know. Bunch of bullshit questions. At least the eating healthy is going well (for the most part).

    I’m in dire need of a weekend away. I’m planning a trip to possibly either Kamloops or Quesnel sometime in June. As long as we’re not on fire, I think it’ll be great. Though fire season seems to have started early this year, I am not going to let it deter me. Or the possibility of running into Emilie’s father if I decide to go to Kamloops (just have to be mindful). A nice weekend away would be just… so ideal. I didn’t get to take any holiday while my boss was in the Dominican, and I’ve been working at the hospital for the last few long weekends. Either that or I’ve been sick. Thankfully, David will be going with me. It’d be nice to spend some “us” time, and at least he is able to appreciate my love of books. I have no fear of him following me around Chapters and asking asshole questions, like: Do you really need that many books? Are you seriously going to read all of those? Why do you need so many? Haven’t you read that book already? Why don’t you just watch the movie? Et cetera, et cetera. The last trip I made to Chapters was with my ex-boyfriend Kyle, and he was relentless with that bullshit. I promised the next person who did that to me would be lit on fire and left in a dumpster out back, because I really just have no patience for that type of bullshit.

    Anyway. Things have been crazy. Hopefully they’ll be swinging up into the positive spectrum for me for the summer. I hate the heat, but at least make my time pleasant, Universe.

  • Daily,  Music

    564.

    Life has been crazy. I spent the majority of February working 12 hour shifts, both at the clinic and in the hospital, so of course I got sick. The latter half of February up until about three days ago I have just been an absolute mess. Apparently there has been a pretty nasty flu going around, but it didn’t feel like an influenza, so who knows. Aside from being ill in that regard, my health has been a bit in the toilet regardless. I was diagnosed two weeks ago with hypertension. Which caught me off guard because I didn’t feel any different than I normally do, but I guess that’s why they call it the silent killer, right? You don’t feel bad until it’s gone bad and turned into cardiac failure or arrest.

    Today is my first actual day on my medication. My doctor wanted an additional two weeks of pressure readings before she started me on anything. So far so good, I guess. The pharmacist said I might feel dizzy initially, but I haven’t yet, so that’s good. I have to get a bunch of blood work done and have an ECG done as well. Depending on the results of those, the doctor said she is going to send me for an echocardiogram, which I really hope I don’t have to do that. The tech that does them here isn’t a very pleasant guy and travelling is a bit out of the question.

    Needless to say, I have been served, and I really have no one to blame for my health but myself. I’ve been making goals for years regarding my health, but I don’t stick to them and continue eating like crap and this is what happens. I keep making attempts to go plant-based, and I either don’t go through with it or I fail because I let myself be weak and get sucked in by the carnivores around me.

    No more. I’m in the process of making a game plan of what I’m going to do… the big component of that is getting off of my fat ass and moving around. Last night I fell into my pattern of watching Netflix in bed and I got so pissed at myself that I got up and cleaned the downstairs bathroom for some movement. Still too snowy and icy to go out and walk around outside, but with things on the upswing, I will probably be able to do it soon. Mom is always wanting to go out and walk, so I think I can convince her to join me. Cleaning in the meantime will be a good substitute because I actually did break out a little bit of a sweat. I also have a truckload of exercise videos to use… once I have the last bit of things put away and organized in my new room, I should have enough room to exercise there too.

    It’s going to be an ongoing thing. My doctor told me not to get sucked into the quick weight loss, fad diet nonsense… she said sustainable lifestyle changes will be key. Which I believe, but I just need to kick my own ass and keep myself accountable.

    I’ve had this song stuck in my head for the last week or so. It’s my new jam, so enjoy:

  • Daily,  Music,  Photo Dump

    522.

    Happy belated 2019 everyone!

    I kind of wanted to do a little “2018 in review” post, and I must admit… I’ve been a little bit tardy with it. Things have been a bit crazy the last couple of months, with work and being ill (I got some kind of viral gastroenteritis over the holidays – not fun at all lemme tell you), but things have settled a bit now. So… on with it, I guess?

    Favourite Album(s) of 2018:
    Carnifex’s Bury Me In Blasphemy. It’s was a short little EP of only fours songs, but my goodness… who knew a death metal cover of “Head Like A Hole” by Nine Inch Nails was something that I never knew that I needed? Also, they finally did a studio version of their cover of “The Heretic Anthem” by Slipknot, and holy Hera… much better than I thought it was going to be. This band never fails to impress, and this little diddly has wet my appetite for their new full-length album, which is apparently coming out in 2019. Bravo, gentleman, bravo.

    Behemoth’s I Loved Your At Your Darkest. The only way to sum up this album, is to state simply that it is an absolute fucking masterpiece. Behemoth killed it with their last album, 2014’s The Satanist, and it’s like they took everything incredible about that album and refined it for this one. It’s dark, it’s technical, it’s full of blasphemous debauchery and I loved ever second of it. Behemoth slayed the fuck out of this one. My only regret is that I missed them when they played in Vancouver, because this piece of art would be life altering to experience live.

    Dimmu Borgir’s Eonian. I’ve pretty much distanced myself from all Dimmu Borgir fans except for like… 3, because I can’t handle the constant barrage of hate that this band’s new material gets. It happened for the last album, it doubled for this one, and I don’t get it. People seem to just want them to make the same album over again, and that’s just (let’s face it) really fucking boring. I love that these guys change things up and add different elements to their sound. One of my favourite songs on this album, “Council of Wolves and Snakes,” had these shamanistic elements that were just… incredible, and added so much to the song. I had to wait eight years for this album, and I have to say it was well worth the wait. The entire concept of this album, the art… it’s exceptional. Though the first single, Interdimensional Summit, had me a little skeptical because of how… happy… it sounded, it works with the rest of the album because it all flows together. The concept of time travel, going beyond the veil, and so on, is really cool. If Dimmu Borgir decides to keep going in this direction, I’m down for the ride, because this album kicks ass.

    Favourite Movie of 2018:
    Sony’s Venom. This is an unpopular movie among people I know, but honestly… I couldn’t care less. I loved this movie. Tom Hardy did a fabulous job as Eddie Brock, and I enjoyed his portrayal. I am not a big comic book elitist, or whatever, so when these movies go off on their own little tangent with story lines… I really don’t care (except for how Galactus was portrayed in that awful Fantastic 4/Silver Surfer movie – that still pisses me off). Nine times out of ten, I’m just happy that they’re making a movie about something I like. I read the comics when I was small (when I could get them) and I watched the cartoons, and Venom has always been one of my favourites. The big point of contention I hear is that Spiderman was an essential element of the Venom origin story and he’s missing from this movie. To that I say… so? They make it work, and for me, it worked really well. I am looking forward to the sequel.

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Crimes of Grindelwald. This is an obvious pick for me. I’ve been a giant Harry Potter fiend since the age of 12, I have read the books so many times that my copies have essentially begun to disintegrate. When they announced this series a few years ago, I was really excited, and the first movie did not disappoint. There was a lot of controversy when the trailer for this installment came out, because of Johnny Depp, and the allegations his ex-wife Amber Heard made against him. I remember a lot of people were calling for Grindelwald to be recast, and JK Rowling said ‘no.’ To be honest… to keep it 100… I am glad they didn’t recast him, because no one else could have done this role. No one else could have played Grindelwald, and have done it so well. He is the epitome of the perfect villain and I just… I can’t explain it. This movie took me on such an emotional roller coaster, and the scene in which Grindelwald puts that spell into the ground at their meeting and tries to destroy Paris… I don’t think I took a breath that whole time. Maybe it’s just me over analyzing, perhaps, but I couldn’t help but notice a lot of common themes between this movie, and the current political/social climate. That’s a topic for another blog post, however. All you need to know… this movie is awesome. Johnny Depp is awesome.

    Favourite Show of 2018:
    Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, hands down. I saw the trailer for this, I nearly peed my skirt. Of course, then the hoo-haw with The Satanic Temple happened, and a lot of my fellow witches in the communities I’m in were upset because it’s an inaccurate representation of the Craft. I devoured this entire series. The whole Satanic witch, Book of the Beast, Church of Night, cannibalism aspect of it, is it accurate? Of course not. Is it awesome? Hell yes. I can see why people got upset, but at the same time… it’s fiction. Obvious fiction. The series was dark, and twisted, and full of great characters. Such a contrast to the series/comics that I grew up watching, and I must say that preferred this. Not to give too much away, but Harvey pissed me off royally. Sabrina loves you, dumbass! Netflix has me waiting until April to see the next, and I’m drumming my little black fingernails impatiently.

    I decided not to include books in this post. Why? Nothing I read last year really wow’d me. Which is a shame, but I did re-read a lot of old favourites, like The Witches by Roald Dahl, and the Black Bird manga series by Kanoko Sakurakoji. We’ll have to see what I discover this year, as I now have more time to read and another book lover to share time with.