Today has been a bad mental health day. I should be working, but I’m struggling with my concentration and I just can’t seem to get things going. I’m also missing a certain someone, who I know I shouldn’t be missing and it’s been over a year and I should be over it, but there you go.

I was thinking about walking to Starbucks, to clear my head, but it’s too hot out and I forgot my sunscreen stick. 🙁

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William Control Pt. 2

As an update to my previous post:

It looks like William has removed himself from social media completely. All of the artists on his record label have left, and they have made their own statements on IG. I follow his wife, Lyndsey (who is literally a goddess – follow her IG if you love posts about yoga and holistic health), and she has stated that she is going to be divorcing him. There was an article added to Salty World, but apparently, the site has crashed due to the influx of traffic, so I didn’t get a chance to read it. There have been several women on Twitter that are sharing their stories, but I’m not going to bother linking them here… all you have to do is go on Twitter and search “William Control,” and they are there for the viewing. More are added/updated on a daily basis, with screenshots and such. There is one woman, Stormie Somers, who I came across on Facebook (before William deleted her comments on his post) that has made several videos on the situation which are worth watching. She has moved them to Youtube to have more reach to the public.

I have decided that I will not be throwing out my merchandise or my records. It seems kind of silly to do that, considering I already paid for them and I’m not going to get my money back. Destroying my own property doesn’t help anyone. I am going to be taking my posters and autographs down, and storing them with my t-shirts and my records in a Rubbermaid and putting them away. Maybe they will come out again if William decides to come out, apologize, and make amends for what he has done. I don’t know. I feel sick, and I feel betrayed. We will see what happens legally, whether or not he’ll be charged with sexual abuse or something of the like (I am not sure what it would be considered under the American penal code – you’d think with all the American forensic programs I watch I would know – but nope), we’ll have to see. According to the Tumblr blog, the authorities are investigating this as we speak.

Abuse is not okay. I think that goes without saying. Abuse given under the guise of BDSM is not okay. Exploitation of mentally ill girls who are star struck by you is not okay. There is nothing about this situation that is okay, and it bothers me that not many media outlets are talking about this. Hopefully, as the situation progresses, we’ll see more media coverage. I’m not going to be talking about this anymore, because it upsets me too much, but all I can do I guess is say that I support the women who endured this, and I send my love and light to them in hopes that they will recover from this, and grow and flourish.

As a closing note… I have every intention of supporting the artists that were formally part of his record label because they’re all amazing and I am sad that they had to deal with something like this.

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William Control.

So, this is an entry that I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that I would have to make. Even now, it seems surreal and I am probably going to edit it after I post it as I have more time to think about it and my feelings evolve.

For those who spend any amount of time with me know… I love William Control, aka William Francis. I have loved him since Aiden, and he has been a continual figure that pops up in my life (like Marilyn Manson – who I have been a fan of since I was 9 years old). Aiden’s music helped me get through a lot; bullying in high school, emotionally abusive relationships, being cheated on, my major depression, my anxiety. I have never had the pleasure of meeting him, nor seeing Aiden or himself in concert (the one opportunity I had – I couldn’t get a ride to Vancouver), so what I know of him is what I have read, and what I have seen through his music and his social media. I have read his books, his poetry, and I have always enjoyed them. “Revelator” was exceptional. I loved the story, he is an excellent writer/storyteller and I’m not ashamed to admit that I bought the three parts separately and then when he released them in an all-in-one hardcover, I bought that too. When he announced that it was going to be made into a movie, I was ecstatic.

One thing I have always loved about William is his very dark, sexual, gothic aesthetic. I am right into it, I love it. BDSM is something that I have always been interested in, and though my experience with it is very limited, I enjoyed the experience I did have and seek to expand those interests in the future.

So why am I writing this, why am I talking about this?

For those who don’t know, last year (I can’t quite remember when) there was a woman who came out saying that he abused her during BDSM play, that he didn’t respect her safe words and that he didn’t respect her boundaries and had abused her. When I read that… I remember feeling cold. I remember feeling sick, and just… cold. I had to step back. I didn’t want to believe it, but at the same time, I didn’t want to support someone who is abusive. However, later on, there was a Facebook post from the woman saying that William had reached out to her and they had worked everything out and she had accepted his apology. I wish I could show the screenshot… I couldn’t find the post or anything from last year. Which seemed weird, but I can understand deleting posts and things to move on/conclude the issue.

After I read that, I was kind of like… okay. If she accepted his apology, it was obviously a misunderstanding between them, their personal business worked out. Move forward to yesterday.

Checking my Facebook and I saw William posted this to his Facebook:

I was confused, but then I started reading the comments. Some of them were deleted, but the majority are still there. Most of the detractors are linking to this blog (TW: graphic, sexual content).

I read everything. I watched the videos. I feel sick. I feel so sick, and I am so angry and so sad. What am I supposed to do? All of these people on Twitter are all like “Throwing out my merch! Burn in hell! Will Francis is over!” etc. etc. but I just… can’t bring myself to throw my records away. I don’t know. I feel sick.

I want to wait for more information, I want to maintain my belief in “innocent until proven guilty,” but I feel like… if it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck… it’s a duck. 🙁

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