So, this is an entry that I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that I would have to make. Even now, it seems surreal and I am probably going to edit it after I post it as I have more time to think about it and my feelings evolve.
For those who spend any amount of time with me know… I love William Control, aka William Francis. I have loved him since Aiden, and he has been a continual figure that pops up in my life (like Marilyn Manson – who I have been a fan of since I was 9 years old). Aiden’s music helped me get through a lot; bullying in high school, emotionally abusive relationships, being cheated on, my major depression, my anxiety. I have never had the pleasure of meeting him, nor seeing Aiden or himself in concert (the one opportunity I had – I couldn’t get a ride to Vancouver), so what I know of him is what I have read, and what I have seen through his music and his social media. I have read his books, his poetry, and I have always enjoyed them. “Revelator” was exceptional. I loved the story, he is an excellent writer/storyteller and I’m not ashamed to admit that I bought the three parts separately and then when he released them in an all-in-one hardcover, I bought that too. When he announced that it was going to be made into a movie, I was ecstatic.
One thing I have always loved about William is his very dark, sexual, gothic aesthetic. I am right into it, I love it. BDSM is something that I have always been interested in, and though my experience with it is very limited, I enjoyed the experience I did have and seek to expand those interests in the future.
So why am I writing this, why am I talking about this?
For those who don’t know, last year (I can’t quite remember when) there was a woman who came out saying that he abused her during BDSM play, that he didn’t respect her safe words and that he didn’t respect her boundaries and had abused her. When I read that… I remember feeling cold. I remember feeling sick, and just… cold. I had to step back. I didn’t want to believe it, but at the same time, I didn’t want to support someone who is abusive. However, later on, there was a Facebook post from the woman saying that William had reached out to her and they had worked everything out and she had accepted his apology. I wish I could show the screenshot… I couldn’t find the post or anything from last year. Which seemed weird, but I can understand deleting posts and things to move on/conclude the issue.
After I read that, I was kind of like… okay. If she accepted his apology, it was obviously a misunderstanding between them, their personal business worked out. Move forward to yesterday.
Checking my Facebook and I saw William posted this to his Facebook:
I was confused, but then I started reading the comments. Some of them were deleted, but the majority are still there. Most of the detractors are linking to this blog (TW: graphic, sexual content).
I read everything. I watched the videos. I feel sick. I feel so sick, and I am so angry and so sad. What am I supposed to do? All of these people on Twitter are all like “Throwing out my merch! Burn in hell! Will Francis is over!” etc. etc. but I just… can’t bring myself to throw my records away. I don’t know. I feel sick.
I want to wait for more information, I want to maintain my belief in “innocent until proven guilty,” but I feel like… if it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck… it’s a duck. 🙁