Wednesday, March 1, 2023
003.
I celebrated my 35th birthday this past Monday, which was a bit surreal. My Charlie took me out to dinner at Boston Pizza after I got off work, which was lovely. I had a chicken carbonara pizza, which was probably the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I am debating on whether to go back tomorrow and get another, albeit larger, one. It was a lovely evening that ended rather messily, unfortunately, because Charlie’s truck ended up getting stuck at the bottom of my driveway. Trying to dig out a giant Ford in the dark, with subpar footwear, all while my dad is throwing off the most smothering anxious energy… not how I would have chosen to end my night, but I guess it is what it is. At least there was pizza, LOL.
It feels weird being 35. I don’t feel 35. Which maybe is good; what is it supposed to feel like? My boss said to me this morning not to be self-conscious of my age, because I don’t look a day over 26. It was a little bit of an “awwww!” moment for me. Definitely made me feel a bit better.
Right now, I am debating on whether or not I should hand my resignation in to the hospital. With how stressful the last few years have been, it seems like the right move to make, because it would be one less thing for me to stress about. I haven’t worked much there since the pandemic started, mostly because I was too tired doing both my office job and then the hospital, but also because I was sick and tired of the mixed messages, I was getting regarding the coronavirus policies. More often than not, it was a “policy for thee, not for me” kind of deal and it was aggravating. My hang up is that my college training was for the hospital. I trained as a health unit coordinator. It feels like I’m not being true to my training if I give it up. I’ve taken a couple of shifts this month and I’m thinking of delaying my decision until after that block is over. I need the money, but the stress I must put myself under to get there… is the money really worth the headache?
One of the things that I’ve had to consider, working in the medical field in a system that is on the verge of collapse, is what I would do if my boss decided to leave the community and close the practice. I’ve had to consider it once before, and my plan at that time was to apply for a hospital job in another community (Kamloops was the one I settled on because RIH is always screaming for staff, and I figured I had a good shot) and relocate. Now that relocation is off the table, as my mom has passed and I need to take care of my dad, I have had to change those plans. I am already going for my transcription certification, but as another back up avenue, I have been looking at getting into the funeral business and becoming an embalmer. I have contacts at our local funeral home who adore me, so I don’t think getting an apprenticeship would be hard for me to do. It’s a two-year program, and I can get paid to work while I’m learned.
With the collapse of the BC medical system impending, I need to have back up plans. I need to register and order my books for my transcription courses. My Charlie said he’d help me with the costs. He’s such a dear, I am such a lucky girl. I’ve never had a partner that wants so much for me to succeed and wants to actually help me achieve those goals. It’s an odd thing, because my past partners just… weren’t like that, so it’s odd. A good kind of odd, though.
Right now, I’m working on a book review that I will hopefully be posting by the end of the weekend, if not early next week. I’m really feeling the creativity lately, which is a decent change. I blame the moon and my new meds.
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
002.
With the new moon having just been in Pisces, and now that we’re entering Pisces season, I have been feeling pretty inspired. I actually had the urge to paint yesterday, which hasn’t happened in forever. If the urge still strikes me tonight, then I have two beautiful, bare canvases and a tub of paints that could use a work out.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Sleep Token recently, and I wouldn’t be surprised if was something Sleep Token-related that made its way out of my brush. I will post pictures if anything comes of it.
I hope everyone had a nice Lupercalia. I couldn’t celebrate on the day with my Charlie, so I ended up doing my own variation of Shiva Honey’s devotion ritual, which ended up being very cleansing and I felt so much lighter afterwards. Shiva’s rituals are always an experience - she’s such a wonderful person and a continual inspiration for me (I plan on doing reviews of both of her books in the near future, so please be on the look out for that). When I did get to see my Charlie, we ended up going shopping, getting some take away and relaxing, watching Return of the Living Dead. He bought me these beautiful purple chrysanthemums, which I had to rescue from the clutches of my cat Pickle Rick several times, so I have lovingly placed them by my aquarium and out of his reach. It’s been such a long time since anyone bought flowers for me, I generally buy them for myself, so I am thinking that I might dry/press them. I will have to see if my mom left any silica gel in her craft room, which she probably did. Charlie also got me an adorable Squishmallow fox, who has been named Ylvis, because my daughter has a sense of humor and “What Does the Fox Say?” was one of her favourite songs when she was little.
Overall, it was a lovely evening and actually having someone to celebrate with was a nice change.
Winter has reared its ugly head again, which has been a nuisance, because I just put my winter gear away. It was nice and mild, and then today… BAM, it’s -26°C (-14.8°F) again. I blame the groundhog. I’m hoping it starts to warm up again… I really wanted to start walking outside around the valley, but I can’t when it’s this cold. I am built for winter temperatures, but that doesn’t mean I find them pleasant.
I’m hoping that it’ll warm up for my birthday, at least, which is this coming Monday. I’m turning the big 3-5, and I’m still not sure how I’m going to celebrate. My Charlie might be planning something, but he’s very secretive, so who knows. I’m not going to stress about it. Having a birthday on a Monday feels… weird, to say the least, and it’s going to be my first birthday without my mom. This will be one of the last “firsts” to get through, which I am thankful for. I’m hoping things will get easier going forward.
Here is the latest song I’ve been obsessed with:
I will post again within the next few days. I’m still figuring out how this platform works, thank you for being patient with me. Happy hump day!
Monday, February 13, 2023
001.
Lately I have been diving back into the discography of William Control. With all of the darkwave that I’ve been listening to lately, it was inevitable. “Confess,” from the 2018 album Revelations, is still my favourite song that he’s done. “All the Love,” from the same album, comes in at a close second.
Around the new year, he posted that he was going to be releasing new music this year, and I couldn’t be happier. Along with the new EP by Brand of Sacrifice, and the whispers of a new Sleep Token record, 2023 is going to be an excellent year for music.
I am still working behind the scenes to get this place back up to where I want it. Using this platform has made me, for the first time in over a decade, to refamiliarize myself with HTML, CSS, and BBCode. Hopefully I will soon be able to design my own themes as well. I am starting a savings fund for a new desktop, so I am going to wait until that materializes to start with that part, but I am excited. For the first time in a while, so I think losing Wordpress was the best thing for me.
Friday, February 10, 2023
Starting over.
Hello everyone!
As you can see, I am having to start the blog over from scratch. This was not my choice, as something happened with my Wordpress and I couldn’t troubleshoot or fix it. It started at the beginning of January, and it started that it wouldn’t allow me to post. When I tried to edit anything, it would give me a white screen and no matter what I did… it either made it worse or did nothing.
In the long run, this is probably for the best, because I have been wanting to reinvent this space to celebrate the current me, instead of the me from 2016 when I started this project.
Please forgive the mess - I am learning a new platform and over the next few weeks/few days, there will be some trial and error as I figure out how this one works and I configure it to what I want.
Here is to 2023 and a new start.
