*blows off the cobwebs*

I hate that when I finally think I have time to work on this blog, I just… don’t, LOL. I have been so crazy busy this past month, I am still having a hard time accepting that it’s almost the end of July already. Time flies when you’re overworked and sick as Hell, right? Right. LOL.

I have made a lot of changes, though, and made some steps that I am pretty proud of. I gave up my rotation at the hospital, so instead of working a 60+ hour work week, I am down to 40, like a normal human. I will still be picking up at the hospital on occasion, but after two years of working the long hours… my body is grateful for the break. It’s been two, almost three weeks, and I have noticed an immense difference in how I feel overall. I have more energy, I am not so tired and irritable all of the time, I actually have an appetite, and my skin is getting better. Which… is a huge fucking plus, because cystic acne is pretty much the worst. I also have some actual time in the evenings, and I can have dinner at a decent hour. Which… I didn’t really realize how much that affected me and my sleep.

Oh, oh! And the best thing about it all – I can actually go to sleep! I am sleeping for 9 hours a night, without waking up, without the need for sleep aids or Ativan. It’s so amazing. I don’t think I have slept this well since before I was pregnant. I am feeling pretty awesome in the mornings. It’s great. 🙂

I got my nails done this past Saturday. I let my esthetician play with some new chromes that she got, and I think it turned out pretty bad ass. It’s over a black base (of course).

She told me that she’s going to be getting in some more colours soon that we can play with. I’m pretty excited.

So, I’m working on some music reviews and such that I will hopefully finish up and post this week. One is a review of the new Chelsea Grin album that just dropped this past Friday… I’m also looking at maybe the new Deathless Legacy and Carach Angren discs. We’ll see how good it goes. I’m also working on an essay/open letter piece that has been a definite challenge for me. It’s a tough one, brings up a lot of old wounds and it’s been like having a re-excision. Should be interesting. All for the sake of self-love and healing trauma, right? Right. 🙂

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Today has been a bad mental health day. I should be working, but I’m struggling with my concentration and I just can’t seem to get things going. I’m also missing a certain someone, who I know I shouldn’t be missing and it’s been over a year and I should be over it, but there you go.

I was thinking about walking to Starbucks, to clear my head, but it’s too hot out and I forgot my sunscreen stick. 🙁

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William Control Pt. 2

As an update to my previous post:

It looks like William has removed himself from social media completely. All of the artists on his record label have left, and they have made their own statements on IG. I follow his wife, Lyndsey (who is literally a goddess – follow her IG if you love posts about yoga and holistic health), and she has stated that she is going to be divorcing him. There was an article added to Salty World, but apparently, the site has crashed due to the influx of traffic, so I didn’t get a chance to read it. There have been several women on Twitter that are sharing their stories, but I’m not going to bother linking them here… all you have to do is go on Twitter and search “William Control,” and they are there for the viewing. More are added/updated on a daily basis, with screenshots and such. There is one woman, Stormie Somers, who I came across on Facebook (before William deleted her comments on his post) that has made several videos on the situation which are worth watching. She has moved them to Youtube to have more reach to the public.

I have decided that I will not be throwing out my merchandise or my records. It seems kind of silly to do that, considering I already paid for them and I’m not going to get my money back. Destroying my own property doesn’t help anyone. I am going to be taking my posters and autographs down, and storing them with my t-shirts and my records in a Rubbermaid and putting them away. Maybe they will come out again if William decides to come out, apologize, and make amends for what he has done. I don’t know. I feel sick, and I feel betrayed. We will see what happens legally, whether or not he’ll be charged with sexual abuse or something of the like (I am not sure what it would be considered under the American penal code – you’d think with all the American forensic programs I watch I would know – but nope), we’ll have to see. According to the Tumblr blog, the authorities are investigating this as we speak.

Abuse is not okay. I think that goes without saying. Abuse given under the guise of BDSM is not okay. Exploitation of mentally ill girls who are star struck by you is not okay. There is nothing about this situation that is okay, and it bothers me that not many media outlets are talking about this. Hopefully, as the situation progresses, we’ll see more media coverage. I’m not going to be talking about this anymore, because it upsets me too much, but all I can do I guess is say that I support the women who endured this, and I send my love and light to them in hopes that they will recover from this, and grow and flourish.

As a closing note… I have every intention of supporting the artists that were formally part of his record label because they’re all amazing and I am sad that they had to deal with something like this.

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