Tuesday, July 4, 2023

Moved.

I decided on a new start. It’s still a mess over there, but if you want to keep following me, please head over to my new home:

Lilith Immaculate

Thank you. <3

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

007.

Little earworm for everyone.

Lately, my life has been dominated by work and by doctor appointments. Seems to be never ending. Being a “geriatric” pregnancy (I hate that term), I get that I need to be monitored more closely, but there is a point where it crosses over into ridiculousness.

It is worth it though, because I did get to feel my baby kick today. It wasn’t as strong as I remember my daughter’s being, but considering that baby is still only 14 weeks, baby gets an A+ for effort. There’s no mistaking that that is what it was though, because I don’t think my stomach muscles have learned tap dance.

Work is going to be slow this week, because my boss is on the first of her two holidays this week (second is in August). It’s nice, because it’s giving me more energy to come up with my game plan for getting my house under control. Need to dust, vacuum, get things moved around so I can start airing out the spare room to get baby’s room started. The crib should be arriving on the 13th, which will be nice. I’ve promised my Charlie that he gets the honor of putting it together, because if I did it, it might catch fire and blow up. I’m really excited to get things started. In about six weeks, I get to find out if I’m having a boy or a girl, so I can start buying clothes and the crib bedding, nursery decorations, etc. I’m an eager beaver, so I am going to ask my boss if I can take Friday off to get a head start.

I have a feeling that I’m going to have a boy. My intuition is screaming at me that it’s a boy. Everyone else I talk to seems to think that it’s a boy too. Charlie is convinced. He’s quick to always follow it with “I don’t care either way,” but he’s convinced. Though my intuition is screaming that it’s a boy, I had the same feelings last time, and I ended up with my little girl. So who knows. There’s apparently a blood test I can take now that will tell me the gender, but LifeLabs wanted something like $795 for it and having to fork over that kind of money, or wait a few more weeks… I’ll wait, thanks. I can spend that money on my baby or my daughter.

I guess that’s all I have for now. Like I said… work, baby stuff. I should have something more interesting next time. I’m working on my first spellwork posts and some other things. I am also debating on renewing my hosting for this domain, or moving providers. I’ve given myself until the end of the month to decide, because my hosting for this comes up in August.

Monday, May 1, 2023

006.

9w5d!

I finally had my first ultrasound done last week. The pictures that the sonographer took weren’t the best, because you can’t really see anything compared to how baby appeared on the ultrasound screen, but what can you do. LOL. I got to see baby move their little fingers, and I got to watch their heart beat. Apparently their heartbeat is really strong, which made me feel a lot better. Being… older, I’m more high risk and I was so afraid that baby wouldn’t be viable. I was so happy that that fear was squashed.

It’s been a bit of a journey so far, let me tell you. I don’t get morning sickness where I vomit or anything like that, but I’ve been getting headaches, and these random episodes of vertigo and just general “yuck” that seem to be triggered by certain smells. Cooking meat, eggs, and anything that has a very oily smell seem to be the worst so far. I’m a bit turned off of coffee and of cold brew, which is a bit depressing. I’ve started drinking tea, so that I don’t go into caffeine withdrawal, but I have yet to find a tea that doesn’t make me thirstier.

Apparently, everything that I’m experiencing is completely normal. My first pregnancy with my daughter, I didn’t experience any symptoms or anything with her, and I attribute that to the fact that I was working full-time graveyard shifts, running the warehouse at Walmart, slamming pallets, unloading trucks, etc. If I did experience any symptoms, they could be explained away by the work I was doing. Fatigue, all of it. But I’m getting to the point now where I’m feeling okay most of the time. I get a craving here or there, but nothing too major. I’m already getting a little pooch belly, which is both cute and annoying, because I have to take care with my pants now.

Other than that… nothing too much is going on right now. Just work, and trying to clean my house. Still working on some content for this little joint, but my laptop at home is being a prick. I might have to buy a new laptop or a small desktop to get things moving, which I am going to shop around for. Trying to make due with my work computer, but I never have enough time. Anyhow. That’s all for me right now. Updates will be coming. Not that anyone cares, or even reads this for that matter, but it gives me something to work towards.

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

005.

Life, especially in the last few years, has funny ways of working out. The last three years have been exceptionally difficult for me, first with COVID/the pandemic, then the acquittal of my pedophilic ex-partner, and then the death of my mother. It was really hard to navigate through all of that with a level head, and if it weren’t for all of the therapy and CBT classes and focusing heavily on reclaiming my own sovereignty, I don’t think I would have managed it.

But with the way things work out, 2023 so far has been wonderful. I am currently working through my financial issues, and hopefully the issues with the CRA will be solved by the end of this month. I am currently with a man who sees me, who gets me, and loves me unconditionally. And now… we have a baby on the way.


It's positive!

It was quite unexpected, and a very, very welcome surprise. I never thought I would have another baby. After my daughter, I was never in the position or with a partner that I wanted to make that leap with and my Charlie is… a phenomenal person, an absolute gift. He’s going to be an amazing father.

I am still waiting on a call from the hospital to go for my first ultrasound, for dating and viability. My boss estimated that I’m about 6 weeks, 4 days, if the dates are accurate. I’m a bit anxious to get my appointment… I know these things take time but I’m impatient. I never got to enjoy my first pregnancy, let alone experience the milestones that go along with it, so I’m really excited. Thankfully, I haven’t had any morning sickness. I’ve been quite fatigued, I have been having frequent headaches, and my body has been sore (especially the boobs - yikes). But no morning sickness! I can handle everything except that.

My doctor was too booked up, so one of the other doctors in the clinic was nice enough to speak with me. He’s referred me to the perinatal psychiatry unit at BC Women’s Hospital, just to monitor me with my medications, as well as he referred me to a maternity doctor. Not many doctors in my community do maternity care, so if I wasn’t able to get in with someone, I was making plans to self-refer to the midwives. I doubt I’ll hear back from any of these referrals until my ultrasound is done.

My family seemed to take the news well. Emilie was ecstatic. My dad… it was hard to tell, but with him, it always is. I think he was happy, though he was concerned that my Charlie was going to do what Emilie’s father did. My siblings kind of… just stared at first, but once it sunk in, they were both happy for me. Charlie’s mom was apparently over the moon. I wasn’t there when he told her, but he told me that she cried. Which… if I had been there, I likely would have started to cry too.

My only sadness about this entire situation is that this child will never know my mom, and my mom will never know them. It was heartbreaking when that realization hit me. My mom was such an amazing grandma. I know she would have been happy. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have been able to cope without her help in the first years I had my Emilie, and I was beyond fortunate that she was there for help and guidance. I’m just going to have to make sure that this baby know their grandma through me, through photos and stories and our traditions. I really need to work on getting my scrapbooks together - maybe that can be part of my nesting.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

004.

My latest obsession is Ashnikko:

My daughter is just as smitten as I am. I am hopefully going to be getting us tickets to see her when she is playing in Vancouver in October, fingers crossed.

I had a bit of a holiday last week. I did absolutely nothing, and it was just as magical as I thought it could be. It was just nice to catch up on some rest. If the snow hadn’t still been up to my armpits, and cold enough to freeze the jewelry in my ears and face, I would have spent the majority of my time outside. I miss walking through the woods, taking in the air and looking at mushrooms. One of my goals this year is to get outside more when I can, and to be better at monitoring myself for burn-out. Thankfully, this time my holiday coincided with my boss’s emergency rotation, so I only lost administrative time and not any patient in-clinic time. If I can work it out like that everytime, that would be amazing.

So many big projects I am wanting to start around the house this year. Hoping to have my house in a beautiful, decluttered and deep-cleaned state by the end of the summer. If anything, I want to get the floors done upstairs at least. As soon as the snow melts. -_-

I’m going to try my hand at making my own incense blends tonight. I will post photos and the results. It’s going to be a blend from the Dark Goddess Collective, and once I get more comfortable with it, I’m going to try my hand at making my own.

Short post today. I’m going to try my best to have the book review I’ve been working on posted sometime this week.

Menu

Listings

Bloglist-Me-Style-3x1-1

Follow

Admin